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Episode 024: Call the Shots

Guilliean reads her original monologue of the same name.

Okay, so you think you know my story right? You think you know, but you have no idea. You see the stuff I post on social media that makes it look like I run this town. Couldn’t be further from the truth! Having my 4,345,187 followers on Twitter looks really good on paper. Like really.

I’ve got 5,697,518 likes on Facebook. My 3,645,132 followers on Instagram saw my pics of jewelry, me modeling a gown fresh off its debut at Fashion Week in Paris (never New York, ew), plus tips to any corporate entity who wants me to sneak their brand into a photo. My God, I promote perfume, leggings, and yogurt. I wish I could be as natural in real life as I make it look, but frankly, I’m doing what you people do, fakin’ it ‘til I make it.

It’s about that time of year for Guilliean’s annual blogathon on National Nothing Day! What’s a blogathon? The Collins Dictionary defines a blogathon as “an online event in which bloggers contribute to a particular blog more frequently and for an extended period.” These annual events are a fun, creative way to generate awareness and raise funds for an organization close to her heart. This year, she will raise money for Opportunity Village here in Las Vegas, Nevada. Enjoy hourly posts penned by your friendly neighborhood creativity concierge from 8 am to 8 pm on January 16, 2022! There will be opportunities to win an Amazon gift card and other goodies. Do you want to sponsor a post? Boogie on over to gpacheco.org/contact and sign up now. There are sponsorship slots open all 12 hours, and she’ll let you know what’s available when you reach out!

The thing is, I don’t think I’ve ever truly ‘made’ it. I’m stumbling through life, breathless at every turn, wondering how I ever got so lucky. I used to try and deny the truth to myself, that I didn’t belong to this world. Every move on this chessboard of life has been one better than the last and for that, I am eternally grateful. Like those tiny green aliens in the animated film, I’m not legally allowed to talk about.

But how stupid can you all be? How can you think this is all normal? How have we normalized this behavior to make money? It’s ridiculous. I’m reminded that I’m the one who’s standing here, pouring my heart out like I’m confessing my sins to God, and I guess in this light in front of your beautiful faces, I am. If you’re not buying me, who is?

The Raconteuse Radio podcast is 100% listener-supported. Are you ready to contribute your opinion on the podcast’s future? Guilliean is dying to know what she can do to make it better! Take the audience survey today to help her understand what areas she needs to grow in. Access it now at raconteuseradio.rocks/survey.

I mean, I’m pretty goddamn fabulous, let’s be real. Did you see me in that one thing the year before last? I mean, I KNOW RIGHT?

In closing, I would like to thank the Lake Forest committee for giving me the Rising Star award this evening. You’ve all been duped. Good night.

Music: Dream of Grandeur from ZapSplat.


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Episode 023: Pretty Things Distract Me

Guilliean reads her short story of the same name.

Miriam woke up with a start. The bedsprings squeaked as she yawned. The haze of sleep guided her eyes to Agnes. The bottle blonde slipped on her black cotton top, blinking at her phone. 5:15 AM. The ripples of Agnes’ muscles sent a jolt of fire into her belly.

“Leaving already?”

“I figured I’d get out of here early, so I don’t get papped with you,” Agnes explained through a well-timed yawn. “I can’t find my bra. Where did you throw it last night?”

Miriam pointed at a pile of clothes on her side of the room. “I’m pretty sure it’s in there somewhere, along with my things.”

Agnes grimaced as she sifted through the frieze of material. Finally, she stuffed last season’s purple Victoria’s Secret into her midnight blue hobo bag. “I should get going.”

Miriam sat up to inch her way towards her. She pressed her bare breasts between Agnes’ shoulder blades. The weight of her body was like a feather against the black cotton, yet the slight friction sent warmth through Agnes’ body. “Who says you have to go?” She pressed her dry lips into the nape of Agnes’ neck.

The podcast world is becoming more and more crowded. A successful podcast needs an exciting concept and captivating storytelling. Guilliean Pacheco, host of Raconteuse Radio, firmly believes that oral storytelling can bring a lot of fire to words written on the page. She’s eager to help you invest the time and resources to support your journey as a small business owner. Load up raconteuseradio.rocks/ads in your browser to get started!

“I have a meeting with Tony,” Agnes replied, weak under Miriam’s gentle touch. “You met him at that party in Century City.”

Miriam let go of her. “So?”

“So,” Agnes shot back. “I have to go.”

“Look, I know you’re all about your career, but it’s the 21st century. I’m sure your fans would be OK with you being a lesbian. You know that people are already talking about it on the internet.”

“It’s not any of that,” Agnes said, shrugging her off.

“I know it’s not,” Miriam said. “But is selling your body worth hiding who you are nowadays? You know there’s stuff going on that would protect you. We’ve evolved as a society not to be rude and judgmental. Well, some of us anyway.”

“This is how the business is,” Agnes shook her head. “You know this.”

Miriam did know. “So… be better than that.”

“I don’t have it in me,” said Agnes. She turned to look at Miriam, who broadly smiled at her. “But pretty things distract me.”

“So let me distract you a little more,” Miriam offered.

Agnes paused as her shoulders sank. “I’ll see you later.”

Guilliean Pacheco, founder of Writeropolis Industries, is a Las Vegas-based freelance writer, editor, and podcaster. She earned an MFA in Writing from the University of San Francisco, and knows how to get your small business noticed. You built your business on a personal story at the end of the day. Let her help you write the right one. She’s eager to produce high-quality blog posts, long-form articles, and other written content. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation at writeropolis.com/contentgeneration to begin!

Stream Pretty Things Distract Me in your browser as you read along with the story!

Music: Don’t Mess with the Balance (Instrumental Version) from ZapSplat.


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Episode 022: How Does Your Garden Grow

Guilliean reads her short story, How Does Your Garden Grow.

My name wasn’t always Mary. A Biblical name, the cross that we bear that is entwined with that female epithet, the feminine sanguinity that spills with every moon’s phase. It was gifted to me. I don’t know where it begins. It always was. I’m unsure of my real name. So many years have passed, and I haven’t found a reason to call myself anything other than Mary. I am Mary. My tombstone will bear the name Mary, for the Mary before and the Mary after. The virgin and the whore. I had dreams of being more. I suppose I was marked as Cain’s people the moment I was born. Mother said I was born with a black heart.

I followed my older sisters everywhere. They protected me from ghosts, and I killed spiders for them. They told me I could be anything I wanted to be, even if Mother and Papa said I couldn’t. One night, they dared me to follow them into the bathroom. My eldest sister flicked the water on the mirror. They told me to say “Bloody Mary” three times. I said the cursed phrase and a woman appeared. She stared deep into my soul and reached for me. I reached for her hand. It felt wrong, but it felt good too. I felt her sew herself into my spirit, rippling across my skin in an illicit dance. My sisters’ icebox screams rang in my ears.

City of Writers is a newsletter delivered straight to your inbox every Friday. Get a curated creative writing experience for writers by writers. Along with some valuable tips and tricks, Guilliean wants to help you build your literary citizenship. Writeropolis is a portmanteau of “writer” and “metropolis.” In simpler terms, it means city of writers. She’s building a community of writing enthusiasts. We are the City of Writers; time to move in. Subscribe at writeropolis.com/newsletter for FREE! No spam, ever.

I turned around to see where my sisters had gone. They were not there. I cried myself to sleep. When I woke up, I began to walk. I wasn’t hungry. I had no need to drink. I attempted to keep time but there was no point. I did not age. Days, months, years may have passed, but time became inconsequential. I built a house, one with a grand staircase near the front door and tile floors and gas lamps. I built it like the houses I saw in the museums we visited. I read all the books I could get my hands on. I put my dolls where I wanted them. I grew a garden with hedges and sunflowers and a tire swing nearby. It was marvelous.

I realized I bore the curse of Mary when I felt an invisible hook grab my belly button, pulling my body through the ether. It was to a mirror. I opened my eyes wide and pounded my fists on the looking glass at the people on the other side. They screamed at my unkempt appearance and ran away. They were not worthy. The hook pulled me all over the world, the universe even. I could see the people changing, the fashions that came into vogue, the tongues they spoke. I thought about my circumstances and knew I had to find someone with a heart as black as mine.

There is another Mary out there to take my place. There must be. That’s how this curse worked right? They had to take over for me since I took over for the other Mary. At least, that’s what I told myself. What I’ll continue to tell myself as I soldier on.

Do your customers listen to podcasts? Do you want your ad to air in a future episode of Raconteuse Radio? Let’s chat! Guilliean Pacheco, host of Raconteuse Radio, is committed to serving listeners with the best content in the world. Each week, she provides an open platform to showcase a new voice in the writing community that you can consume on the go. She loves chatting with industry pros too! Find out more by going to raconteuseradio.rocks/ads to get started!

Stream How Does Your Garden Grow and read along with the text!

Music: Strange Lullaby from ZapSplat.


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Episode 021: I Have No Mouth, Give Me Something to Sing About, Part 2

Guilliean reads the second half of her short story of the same name.

“I wish I knew what that was. I mean, work is work, but I don’t feel fulfilled. What about you?” he asked.

“What about me?” I replied.

“What do you want to do with your life?”

I jerked my head back like I had been electrocuted. “I don’t know.”

He smiled at me. “Nah girl, take your own advice. What are you supposed to be doing?”

I shrugged and looked away. “I’ve always wanted to be a writer.”

“Have you written anything?”

“Honestly? No. I just got my degree in English and History and I figured I would try different things. When people find out what I studied, they’re always like, ‘are you gonna be a teacher?’ And I’m like, ‘no because being the center of attention is so not my thing.”

“You’re definitely in the wrong business!” he teased me.

“Yeah, no shit,” I replied. “All the shit that we deal with every day, from front of house to back, I could write twenty books easily.”

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He nodded. “So why don’t you?”

I shook my head. “No one would want to read it.”

“How do you know? You won’t know unless you write it.”

“And you?” I replied, trying to change the conversation. “What do you want to do with your life?”

He shook his head. “No, we’re talking about you. But if we’re being honest, it’s definitely not what I’m doing now.”

“I don’t know if I’ve ever told you, but I transferred here from XX, I was a supervisor at their business center before it got swallowed up by FedEx,” I offered.

“For real?” he asked. “Why didn’t you apply at our business center? I’m sure we would’ve found a place for you.”

I shrugged. “I didn’t see any positions available when I applied for this job. Besides, I took that job as far as I wanted to go professionally. There was nowhere else to go. A lot of the employees there at the end didn’t care about their jobs anymore. Dealing with that apathy soured me from going after it more.”

“Soured,” he repeated. “Good word. You should write a book about that.”

“Twenty books,” I reminded him, “twenty books!”

He glanced at his phone. “I gotta go back. My lunch is almost over. It was good talking to you. I hope I can read one of your books someday.”

I smiled. “Yeah, it was good talking to you too. I hope you can figure everything out. And hey, you might see one of my books someday.”

You know that you have a meaningful story to tell, but getting the right words out is the toughest part. Trust Guilliean Pacheco! As the founder of Writeropolis Industries, she helps hard-working folks like you fine-tune their written voice. Why do you need editing? She’ll help you impact your target audience and save you time. Let’s work together to fill your project with excellent, on-point content. Connect with her now at writeropolis.com/editing for more information.

Music: Passsengers from ZapSplat.


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